Contributed Carline VandenElsen with her triplets, now 12, in an undated photo.

Custody Dispute's Toll

Feud between VandenElsen, ex-husband harmful for their triplets, reports say

By PATRICIA BROOKS ARENBURG - Staff Reporter

Even in the most amicable of divorces, the battle for custody of the little ones can get downright nasty.

Place the children between two people who can barely sit in a room together and add the fact that their classmates, their hometown and the entire country knows details of their lives, and the effects can be devastating.

"The three (Merkley) children seem to have tolerated the turmoil better than one might expect," Justice David Aston of Ontario Superior Court wrote in a February 2003 decision.

"Perhaps as triplets they can draw strength from one another and know that they are special.

"They certainly know they are loved."

According to a large number of unsealed documents in Ontario Superior Court in Stratford, the lives of the triplets of Carline VandenElsen and Craig Merkley, born Jan. 1, 1993, have been far from easy.

What's contained in the sealed portion of the file, described only as a box of filings and exhibits, remains unknown. But here's what was open to review:

Notes the children wrote at school about the time when their mother allegedly abducted them in October 2000 during an access visit and took them eventually to Mexico.

"I em (am) back," one of the triplets, then eight, wrote in a school journal after their return.

"I went to Mexico and Panama and the United States. To get acros the borter intothe United States mom pot us in the trungk. She turned the music on three times that ment to be very cwite as cwite as you can."

- A videotaped interview of the triplets telling a Children's Aid worker in Stratford that they want to live with their mom so they can see both parents whenever they want. They also say their stepmother hates them.

- A videotape of them going on their first visit to see their mother after returning to Canada after the alleged abduction. All of the children are smiling and laughing until Ms. VandenElsen's sisters tell them to say goodbye to their father. Olivia's expression suddenly changes and she stares wide-eyed, while the boys wave excitedly at their dad.

- A page with three separate typewritten notes signed by the children and dealing with living at their mom's place. These notes were written during their last visit with their mother before a judge cutoff all contact.

- Discussions the children had about their father not producing sperm. Court documents state that their mother told them their father is not their biological father.

- There are also pages upon pages of reports related to their mental health.

One child tried to commit suicide by hanging in Mr. Merkley's home. Reports later stated the child tried to commit suicide but also believed people could come back when they died.

That same child once drew blood when tying a shoelace around a sibling's neck and has fought with others. The child was eventually placed on medication.

Another had bedwetting and daytime soiling problems, which doctors felt was due to the stress of the conflict.

The third child was withdrawn to the point that doctors were concerned.

In a May 1998 psychological assessment done when the children were five, one of the children expressed fear of losing the parents and being left alone.

Another "does not like it when she (Ms. VandenElsen) cries when (the children) leave." The child also said their father keeps them away from their mother.

The third child said: "Mom gets mad at me a lot," and "Mom raises her voice a lot," and "I wish I stayed at Daddy's and Jan's forever: I wish I never saw Mommy again."

The 1998 report, written by Dr. Robert Doering, stated: "The children are being detrimentally affected by being exposed to a power struggle between their parents which is clearly harmful to their psychological and emotional well-being."

At another point in the litigation, authorities recommended the children see counsellors whose reports would not become part of the court battle.

Although Dr. Doering recommended the children continue living with their father, he also saw "a potential risk of parental alienation given the present adversarial situation" and advised Mr. Merkley and Jan Searle, his fiancee and future wife, to "facilitate a positive and significant role for the mother in their children's lives."

He later changed his mind after hearing snippets of 11 phone conversations that Mr. Merkley secretly recorded in which Ms. VandenElsen denigrated her ex-husband, Ms. Searle and Ms. Searle's children and drew the triplets into the conflict.

The psychologist reported it to Children's Aid as emotional abuse.

The triplets haven't seen their mother since late 2003, and Alfred Mamo, lawyer for the Merkleys, said they are leading "very normal, uneventful lives, which is something they need after all the activity there was."

They haven't asked about their mother's situation, he said.

Sgt. John Wilson, the Stratford police officer who tracked Ms. VandenElsen when she allegedly fled the country and is the point man for allMerkley-VandenElsen calls, said the children are well cared for and doing well. Just what will happen when Ms. VandenElsen returns to Stratford for her retrial on the abduction charges, scheduled to begin July 18, remains to be seen.

"When she's out there (in Nova Scotia), it isn't a big deal here - the kids know what to expect," Sgt. Wilson said.

"The issue hasn't really raised its ugly head here. . . . It's a good thing it will be summer."

The Canadian Press Craig Merkley and his wife Jan answer reporters' questions following the trial of Merkley's former wife Carline VandenElsen in Stratford, Ont., Oct. 26, 2001. VandenElsen was found not guilty of abduction when she took her children out of the country and evaded authorities for three months. PATRICIA BROOKS ARENBURG This is the Stratford, Ont., home Carline VandenElsen shared with her former husband and triplets.

Triplets Wanted Their Mom

Children asked for access to both parents, 2003 videotaped interview reveals

By PATRICIA BROOKS ARENBURG - Staff Reporter

It had been 19 months since the triplets had last visited their mother.

On Sept. 8, 2003, the 10-year-old triplets drove their bikes from their elementary school to see their mother, Carline VandenElsen, who was living in a nearby bungalow in Stratford, Ont.

Their mother was at an appointment, but the visit prompted her husband, Larry Finck, to call the Children's Aid Society.

The children stayed, but just days later, a judge ordered them returned to their father and temporarily barred their mother from all contact.

The triplets, seen sitting around a table at their mother's home in a videotaped interview with a social worker on that Sept. 8, tell him they want to live with their mother.

They say that if they live with their father, Craig Merkley, they're not allowed to see their mother. But if they live with their mother, they say, they've been told they can see their dad any time they want.

"Any problems at Dad's?" the social worker asks.

Yes, they say.

"Like with Jan, our stepmom," Olivia says.

The little girl with the brown hair tucks her long, skinny legs up toward her chest at times during the interview.

Her father had earlier reported that after their mother allegedly abducted the triplets for a few months when they were seven, Olivia was incredibly afraid of being taken again and extremely shaken to visit her mother.

But on the videotape, Olivia, at 10, is quick to answer the social worker's questions and appears angry with her stepmother, Jan Merkley.

Gray, a child with many reported difficulties including aggression and a suicide attempt, appears talkative and outgoing. Their brother Peter is quiet and at one point stares wide-eyed at the camera.

All know they're being videotaped.

Olivia and Gray say their stepmother is mean to them and doesn't let them go play further than their own street.

When asked about their stepmother, Gray begins: "She was the one who . . ."

"If Jan didn't live next door or anything . . ." Olivia interrupts.

"Jan's who told our dad to go to court and get custody," Peter blurts out.

"And if Jan wasn't in our life, our mom and our dad would still be divorced but they'd still be friends," Olivia says.

The four fall silent as Olivia sits back in the wooden chair, folds her arms and looks around.

"She ruined my life," Olivia says.

"You think she ruined your life?" the social worker asks.

"Yes," Olivia says.

Peter rubs his eyes but doesn't say anything.

"We know she hates us," Olivia says.

Hate is a pretty strong word, the social worker says.

"Then she dislikes us," Olivia says with a sneer.

Neither she nor Gray is able to explain why.

But Olivia says: "I want to live with our mom and visit our dad whenever we want."

One of the triplets then explains that their mom and Mr. Finck are going to Supreme Court to get his daughter Chantelle back.

And one of the triplets says: "If we didn't come here, they're going to try to go to the Supreme Court to get us back."

"Our mom is pregnant and if we stayed there (at Dad's), we wouldn't be able to see our little brother," Gray says.

The social worker asks if they're excited about the baby. They light up, talking all at once about their mom's big belly and how fat the baby will be when he's born. The baby, a girl, was born in December 2003 in Halifax.

On the videotape, Olivia and Gray are clear - they want to be with their mother and see their father whenever they want. And that's what Ms. VandenElsen's family and supporters say.

Ms. VandenElsen's friends in Stratford say she always wanted Mr. Merkley to play a role in the children's lives.

Her sister, Maureen Davidson, who supervised Ms. VandenElsen's court-ordered visits with her children while she was awaiting trial for child abduction, says the tapes show what she saw during those times together.

"They can't get enough of her," Ms. Davidson says.

The children would climb over each other to sit in their mother's lap and laugh and play.

"They love their mother and they really do want to be with her," Ms. Davidson says.

But Alfred Mamo, the lawyer representing Mr. Merkley, believes the triplets' wishes are not that easy to determine.

"Given the history of this file, it is very, very difficult to ascertain what the children's true wishes are because the children have been involved in so much and because Ms. VandenElsen has manipulated them so much and put them through so much."

It's only natural for children to want a relationship with both parents, he says.

"They know their father's love for them is unconditional," Mr. Mamo says, adding that "they did enjoy various moments that they had with their mother."

But, he says, "they don't have the maturity to be able to appreciate that some of the things that they were being drawn into were inappropriate and not good for their emotional and psychological health."

Court documents state that when the children were very young, they were often subjected to Ms. VandenElsen's accounts of her court proceedings. Mr. Merkley claims this and other actions on her part caused stress and behavioural problems in the children. She has denied those claims.

Mr. Mamo attributes the children's desire to live with their mother to Ms. VandenElsen and says she offered them no real choice.

"If you put it on the basis to the children that the only way you can have a relationship with both your parents is to be with me, then of course they're going to say, 'Well, then we want to live with you because we want to have a relationship with both parents,' " Mr. Mamo says. "That's really what that tape was about."

File A member of the Halifax Regional Police emergency response team carries away a baby after the Shirley Street standoff ends. The baby was just days away from turning five months old.

Merkley Told Children's Aid VandenElsen Had New Baby

Agency issued national alert

By PATRICIA BROOKS ARENBURG - Staff Reporter

Just what triggered the chain of events leading to a 67-hour armed standoff in Halifax?

It may have been a conversation Carline VandenElsen's ex-husband, Craig Merkley, had with Children's Aid officials in Stratford, Ont., in December 2003.

According to a report by the Huron-Perth Children's Aid Society dated Dec. 18, 2003, Mr. Merkley's family told him that his ex-wife had given birth. And he told Children's Aid.

Mr. Merkley and Ms. VandenElsen had been embroiled in a nasty custody battle that began in 1995. But in November 2003, she lost all rights of access to the children and was facing a retrial for allegedly abducting them in October 2000.

The report states that in December 2003, a person identified as Loran Green, an associate of Ms. VandenElsen's, said she had given birth to a baby girl, the letter states.

Mr. Merkley "further stated . . . that he believes (she) is in Halifax, Nova Scotia."

The child actually wasn't born until Dec. 23.

A Canada-wide child protection alert had been issued calling for a warrant to apprehend "expectant mother" Carline Antonia VandenElsen, also known by the last names Finck and Merkley.

"Baby - birth expected December 2003 or January 2004."

The exact date the alert was issued is unclear, as a court stamp covers that part of the page.

The alert said Ms. VandenElsen's access to her triplets had recently been terminated and "concern existed for their emotional safety due to her attempts to have the children align with her throughout a lengthy custody and access dispute."

It also said the mother was being tried on abduction charges and her husband, Larry Finck, was on probation for abducting his daughter.

The pair are "confrontational and verbally aggressive," the alert states.

"Mental health requires assessment."

Mr. Merkley declined to be interviewed, but his lawyer, Alfred Mamo, said Children's Aid workers "kept in touch with Mr. Merkley in terms of their monitoring how the children are doing."

His client spoke to Children's Aid but "it wasn't intended to provide information to say: 'You better do something about it.'"